Where It All Began

Growing up, I was a social butterfly. I was more on the outgoing side, and I knew almost everyone by first and last name. I wasn’t afraid of much, whether it was performing musical theatre with my middle school cafeteria filled with people watching, or getting on stage and saying prayer during Sunday service in front of the congregation. I have known of God for as long as I can remember, and I like to think that my faith has continued to grow as I have gotten older. My family and I attended church regularly as a child, and we have more recently began going again as often as possible. I tried joining a few different youth groups at various churches around town, and I once even tried starting my own with a couple of friends. When I was graduating high school, it was important to me to find a ministry for young adults or women where I could learn more about my identity in Christ as I entered into the next chapter of my life.

When I was younger, I was always told that I was a "healer", and that I was wise beyond my years. It is this little girl that I try and remind myself of when I am fearful or anxious. “Do it for her.” I tell myself. Looking back on these experiences as a young adult, I wouldn’t change a thing, but I would without a doubt be more hesitant to do these things today. Over the more recent years, I have become a bit more shy and introverted. Especially around new people, or in new situations. However, whether it's sitting in front of a keyboard, or with a pencil in my hand for hours at a time, writing has always been an outlet for me to put my feelings into words. One thing that will never change, though, is the way that I cherish every relationship and opportunity that God puts in my life.

As I grew up and entered my teenage years, I began to feel like I was different than my friends and others my age. I started asking myself questions like “Why are they experiencing these things while I am not?” and “Why is this more difficult for me?” It was almost as if certain things didn't come quite as naturally to me as they did for others. At the time, I didn’t quite understand why I felt behind in some ways.

            That was, until December 4th, 2019.